Back from Ohio ~ a tale of the the First Night

We are back from our week long trip to Ohio to see Jenne's family. We covered a lot of miles on the trip and saw a few cool sites. I found this alien head painted on a door of custome paint shop on Salem Avenue in Dayton while we were driving to the hospital (that's another night). We did find an Ohio winery (umm early afternoon, not exactly a night). Yes, they do make some wine in Ohio and no, it's not made from corn or soybeans. Speaking of corn I have a story about cornholes for ya, but I will save that for later too. Anyway, night one. The trip out was very tiring and when we got to dinner all I could think of was how bad I wanted a frosty beer. We go with Jenne's aunt and cousin to a little place in Brookville, Ohia called K's Restaraunt. It's right there in the ole modern bank buidling on Arlington Street. We get a nice booth with a view of the place. Kind of looks like the inside of Dennys, but more countrified. The waitress passes out menus and takes the drink orders of the ladies first. When she gets to me I look at her and ask, "What beers do you have?"
Our nineteen or so year old waitress tilts her head, raises her right eye brow and replies, "Ohh, you're funny."
To which I say in my head and say with my eyes, "WTF?"
She notices my look and says, "We're non alcoholic here. We don't serve no beer or wine."
To which I say in my head and say with my eyes, "WTF?" I ponder this for a moment and shake my head. No beer! Willie no function beer well without. I sigh.
"Do you have diet coke? I'll have a diet coke with lemon thanks." And she walks away. I peruse the menu. Mostly sandwhiches, a few entrees and daily specials. Country/diner style eats. The waitress returns with drinks, sits them down and says, "here's your lemon."
I see her arm move from over the top of the menu. She must be sitting down a bowl or plate of sliced lemon. She takes the ladies' orders and then mine.
"I will have the chilli served on top of spaghetti."
She gives me that look and says, "We don't serve that today. Only on Wednesday." Okay, so it's a "WEDNESDAY ONLY" special and this is Thursday. Well I see both chilli and spaghetti on the menu. I guess it's just too gosh darned dang diddily darned hard to take a plate, put spaghetti on it, take a ladel and add chilli and serve. No beer, no chilli over pasta. Okay, what next? I make a "humph' sound and order a salad and a bowl of chill. I don't want pasta now even though I order a bowl of chilli, a plate of plain spaghetti (I bet they wouldn't let it out of the kitchen sans sause) and be a dick in front of the waitress and show her how to do it. "Ugh, see! Pour chilli on noodle, Ugh, I can do you too now." I decide not to be a dick.
The waitress - who is getting less than the normal tip - takes the menus and walks away. I take my diet coke in hand and look for the lemon. Nothing on the edge of my glass. No bowl on the table. Hmmm, no plate with silced lemon either. Wait a moment, what are these little yellow packets? Mustard? Nope. Lemon juice from concentrate. YUCK!
"Miss. Miss! Hi, excuse me, but could I get a slice or two of a real lemon please?"
Wait for it......
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Here it comes!
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"We don't have lemons."

This was the first night.