Can't you see that I am in a hurry?

My current job has me talking to... well, trying to talk to as many people as possible about a great charity and then get them to sign up as supporters. I hear a lot of reasons why people can't/won't stop. I don't take any of it personally and I understand where many of them are coming from. I have been on the side that they are on. Here's some of the better excuses I have heard. And there are also a few insights.

In the three weeks that I have been doing this three women actually ran by us. They broke into a run about twenty feet from our table and stopped running when they past us.

My teammate, Rick was told by one older Caucasian lady to, “Get a real job.”

“I got out of work early and I can’t talk to you. I need to get some new shoes.” Okay then.

“I can’t stop. I work for the FBI.” Umm, okay.

“Sorry, but I am broke and out of work.” And a lady carrying five bags from the Sachs Fifth Avenue store in the mall said this to me.

“Sorry man. I am on the clock and need to get back to work,” and then he dove in the American Eagle Outfitters and shopped for another twenty minutes. Nice job to get paid to shop.

One guy I approached tapped his watch and said, “I can’t stop. I am meeting a very important client at 3:30. Sorry.” The large clock hanging in the food court and visible over his shoulder read 2:30. Someone couldn’t tell time.

When I asked one young woman for a moment to talk to her about the charity she yelled at me, “PRAISE JESUS! PRIASE JESUS!” And kept walking. Umm, thanks. I already do that.

I started speaking to one man, explaining how the charity responds to natural disasters and war zones around the world and he said, “So what are you doing in Michigan?”
“Sir, there are no natural disasters or wars in Michigan.”
“Well, if you aren’t helping in Michigan I can’t support you, ” he replied and walked off.

Four people walking by at a snails pace replied to my greeting with, “Can’t you see we are in a hurry. We don’t have time. We have someplace to be.” I would hate to see them if they were out for a casual stroll.

“Sorry man, my great cause is me.” Ahh, the hubris.

“If I stop moving my kid will cry. I must keep moving to keep that from happening.” Yep, blame the kid.

“I can’t stop. I have to get my child out of the mall because he’ll throw up if I don’t.” Maybe you should take that kid to a doctor instead of a mall.

“My child could poop at any moment. You don’t want that to happen do you?” Kids are the great all purpose excuse.

“I can’t stop walking. I am, uhh, trying to induce labor.” Lady, I think you should be doing that at a hospital and not in a shopping mall.

*MY FAVORITE!
“You don’t want to talk to me. I have a head wound and I’ll forget whatever it is you want to tell me.” This comment put me in one of those very rare moments when I was at a loss for words. Seriously, what could I say to that?

A lot of folks say, “sorry” and keep walking.

Most Caucasian males look away towards the floor or ceiling and extend their arm with the palm down and keep walking.

Asians are the hardest people to get to stop. Indians are the next hardest. Most just smile, utter something unintelligible and keep walking. English may not even be a second language for them. At least they smile.

Well dressed older Caucasian women avoid eye contact, do not smile and utter a firm no. I take a no as a no, tell them to have a nice day and move on.

Those in camo hunting shirts, NASCAR wear, wife beater Tees, and sporting the finest in mullets… well they are rednecks. If it’s not about beer, NASCAR and hunting/fishing they want no part of it. Oh, they usually have a woman under their arm wearing a belly shirt with a fat stretched out belly. Gross. Those that have stopped start walking again when they find out that the charity helps non-whites. Nice. I don’t bother with these folks anymore.

I am not a good judge of age when it comes to people in their late teens and early twenties. I have stopped people I thought were in the early twenties to find out they are sixteen (must be =>18 to sign up). And then there are people I have not stopped, because I thought they were under eighteen, only to have a teammate stop them and sign them up because they are indeed =>18. I now ask everyone, unless they are a redneck.

I have learned that I have an odd super power, but I am not in control of it. For a few seconds I turn completely invisible and even though I am speaking, no sound comes from my mouth. The person I am addressing doesn’t see or hear me, but the person after them does. Weird.

Members of the Armed Services, their spouses and African Americans are our best supporters. They are friendly, generous and polite. One nice lady even brought us a huge dish of homemade Jumbalaya the next day, and this week she is bringing us homemade candies!

I connect best with African American ladies, wives of service men, artsy women, and what I call the Bohemian Hippy Chick & Guy.