The Coming of the Great White Death

When it comes to the local weather chappies giving snow predictions, I take a wait and see attitude. I refuse to get caught up in the media hype of the precipitation called snow.

Let me provide a few personal examples as to why.

Back in the late 1970s, Baltimore prognosticator, Bob Jerk... I mean, Turk, predicted a lightweight snow event. He called for an accumulation of a few inches at most. It was a Saturday as I recollect. We had a friend over for the weekend and my parents decided that a few inches would not hamper us taking our friend home on Sunday. We awake Sunday morning to a major blizzard. It was snowing so hard that we could not see the Baltimore City row homes across Kenwood Ave from our house. In the days that followed there was looting on Monument Street and the national Guard was called out. We were off of school for a week. Our friend, well we got him home on Sunday... a week later.

Three or so years ago Norm Lewis and Andy Barth of Channel Two News in Baltimore were playing Studio Man and Adventure Boy, respectively. I refer to any of the folks that news shows and the Weather Channel send into the field as, Adventure Boy or Adventure Girl. You know the folks I mean. The brave souls, or fools that stand on the boardwalk at the beach as the storm surge hits, or stand out on frozen roadways as snow billows around them. Anyway, Norm was all snug in the studio showing the approach of the giant Red L and jagged blue line and Andy was at the State Highway Admin salt dome on Falls Road. Trucks were being loaded up behind him by huge front-end loaders. Yellow lights were flashing and it all appeared much more dramatic that it was. Ahh, the media hype of a snow event is in full swing. Anyway, Norm, after shaking his magic eight ball, gives his latest guess and then goes to Andy. Bundled up in his Gortex coat with mike in hand, he gestures to the scene behind him and says (as close as I recall it), "As you can see, the salt truck crews are very busy as Baltimore braces itself for the coming of the great white death." I turned to Jenne and said, "Did he just say..."
"...Coming of the great white death? Yes, honey. He did."
Okay, so the storm was responsible for the death of half a dozen or so people out of MILLIONS and this was the 'great white death'. Cheesus H. Rice, talk about hype. Jenne and I turn off the hype and go to bed. It’s the weather and what happens will happen. I can’t do jack about it either way, and I will adjust accordingly. I wake the next morning to see Jenne holding back the curtains and staring out the bedroom window.
"Soooo, how bad is it? How much snow did we get?" I ask from the warmth of the multiple blankets and afghans.
"Nothing," she says matter of factly. And it was true. We got NADDA! Andy Barth needs a Gortex Ass-Hat to go with his weather Ass-Clown coat.

So it's going to snow. So what, big deal. The shopping centers will be packed tonight with people running around for BMTP. After all, the hype is that anywhere from 2” to 12” of the sky will be falling! GO ahead and run, Chicken Littles! If it snows, I will likely make some photographs, power shovel the walk and clean off the cars. Then I will sit in the warm house, drink hot coco, and watch DVDs or play lots of World of Warcraft. If it doesn't snow, I will most likely make photographs of a different subject, not have to pull out the power shovel, not have to clean off the cars and still drink hot coco, watch DVDs and play lots of World of Warcraft. I really don't give a frack either way.