Rules and Guidlines for Women

There’s always another "rules-for-men-from-women" email going around. Ladies, you have far too many rules for us guys to keep track of and follow (and I admit that we pretty much don’t do either) and many of them are contradictory. Well, turn about is fair play and here’s a set of rules the women to follow from the guys. Ladies, these are our rules! Learn them, memorize them and live by them, and all will be well. It should also be noted that each of these rules is just as important as the next hence they are all number 1.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whining about you leaving it down.

1. Let us look. It doesn't hurt anyone to look. And for us, it’s genetic.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. One day of the weekend = Sports. If it is football season it is Sunday. In my case one day of the weekend is for video games and guy movies.

1. Crying on your part IS blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. See number one above, the number one about hints.

1. We don't remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us frequently.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. We fix things or beat them into submission. Just listening and sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Check your oil and remember that the flashing engine light on the dash board means it needs attention NOW and not next week.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer that question anymore.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercial breaks.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will believe you.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

This entry under topics, Marriage and Relationships.