Rob Novak... In the HOT Seat!

Greetings gentle reader. It's time again for another guest to sit In the Hot Seat. This week we have a fellow photographer, blogger and personal friend of mine In the Hot Seat. Rob was one of the very fine folks responsible for getting the Burnham Down the House web site up and running. Please give a warm welcome to Rob Novak. (raucous applause)

ITHS: Hi Rob and welcome to the Hot Seat. I’m sure the readers are eager to learn about you so let’s jump right in to the questions. So Rob, for the benefit of the readers please tell them how you and Will met and did you hit it off right away.
RN: I met Will B. via Geren, at the inaugural meeting of the Central Maryland Photographers' Guild. He was propping his lanky frame against a classroom podium, staring at me with a come-hither look that almost caused spontaneous combustion in my pants. I'd like to think we hit it off pretty well, though he sometimes refuses to return my phone calls after those fuzzy drunken evenings.
ITHS: That silly bastard.

ITHS: When and where were you born and where do currently reside? Just the general geographic area, nothing specific as we don’t want any cyber stalkers looking you up.
RN: I was born on September 24, 1971 at St. Joseph's Hospital in Baltimore County, MD. I've lived in and around Baltimore all my life.

ITHS: Is it where you really want to be or would you like to be living someplace else? If so, where?
RN: I'm pretty comfortable with the area, and while I've entertained thoughts of living elsewhere, I've never really considered location to be part of identity. IE: I could be me just as well somewhere else, and well… here's where the work is.

ITHS: So Rob, if that is your real name, tell us what was your childhood like?
RN: A mixed bag. Precociousness mixed with an independent streak. I did pretty much normal kid things until my pre-teens, when I was more awkward than most. I have neither particularly fond nor particularly heinous memories of my childhood.

ITHS: What is your favorite childhood memory?
RN: Hmmm… cooking with my grandmother. A semi-cantankerous German from depression-era East Baltimore, she introduced me the virtues of simple foods. She taught me how to make pizelles (thin, crispy waffle cookies flavored with anise), that smoked pork butt with potatoes and green beans could be damned tasty, and what REAL cooking was about.

ITHS: What one person has most influenced your life?
RN: My maternal grandfather, I think. I learned practical things from him – as a maintenance foreman, he was a jack-of-all-trades with regard to plumbing, electricity, tools, etc. He taught me that "good enough" wasn't really good enough. Error compounds error – it's best to do step one right, than realize that you've broken step ten.

ITHS: What do you do for the SLJ* and do you love or hate it?
RN: I'm currently working with large data storage and preservation products for a division of a big telco. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. The technology and its applications are neat, and it's a constant challenge. However, outside of a few select groups, the organization is packed with a bunch of yahoos who think half-way is sufficient, and never learn when it comes around to smack 'em in the ass.

ITHS: Here’s a two parter. I hope you’re up for it. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt and what profession would you not want to attempt?
RN: I'd like to attempt professional artistic photography for a living. I've rekindled a passion for it, and my skills are growing beyond what I had imagined. While I enjoy the activity and the results, I'd hate to be a chef. I considered it before becoming a pro geek, but realized that the restaurant industry is a meat grinder. I prefer to cook for fun, not for a buck.

ITHS: What are your hobbies and interests and are you a ‘geek’ about them? Don’t try and hide your “geekness”. You practically ooze it.
RN: My main hobbies are cooking, benchmark hunting (tracking survey points), photography, music, shooting, and coffee. I'm most definitely a "geek" about all of them. I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge, and I learn everything I can about any activity in which I'm a serious participant. I'm probably the only person you know with a 1/3 horsepower coffee grinder in their kitchen.

ITHS: What "cause" are you really passionate about?
RN: I'm not a "cause-head". I live my life according to my principals. It's rare that I rally around an ideology or cause. If I had to come up with something, though, it would be libertarianism – I really want government out of my everyday life as much as possible.

ITHS: What are your three favorite movies and what three movies do you think just absolutely suck?
RN: Three favorite movies? Hmmm – "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" (Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo) by Sergio Leone: it's the epitome of the 60's "spaghetti" Western, the cinematography is wonderful, and the graveyard scene is the definitive "Mexican Standoff". "A Clockwork Orange" – just an abso-freakin-lutely phenomenal flick. Last – "Pulp Fiction", which is a masterpiece of dialog writing: modern noir.
Three that suck, eh? "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace" – pure George Lucas ass-rape of everyone who enjoyed the first three films.
ITHS: I couldn’t agree with you more about that Rob. What a stinker of a film and about Jar Jar Stinks all I can say is, George WHAT THE FUCK? What about the other suck films?
RN: "Invasion of the Neptune Men" – even Mike and the 'bots couldn't make this one enjoyable, it was so phenomenally banal. "Matrix: Reloaded" – the first film was fun and gritty, and pulled the best from noir, sci-fi anime (particularly "Ghost in the Shell"), and kung-fu flicks. The second was a bloated sack of repetitive, over-produced fight scenes interrupted by overwrought "philosophy."
ITHS: So Rob, tell us how you REALLY feel.
(raucous laughter)

ITHS: What are your favorite three TV shows?
RN: I don't so much have favorites, as ones I'll tolerate for a time. Basically, if it's on Discovery Channel, the History Channel, or TLC, there's a chance I might enjoy it. The sole exception would be "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central, because it's as cynical about the world as I am.

ITHS: What are your favorite three books?
RN: "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony (Tony) Bourdain, which years after the fact confirmed my decision not to make "chef" my chosen profession. "Imajica" by Clive Barker, which is just a well-written fantasy story. "The Straight Dope" by Cecil Adams, which as an impressionable youth, started me on my quest to Know Everything.

ITHS: What kind of music are you into and do you have an all time favorite group or musician?
RN: My musical tastes are rather eclectic. I can listen to just about anything, so long as it's not mass-produced crap. My favorite musicians? Classically, Johann Sebastian Bach – the contra-punctal nature of his compositions just gel with something in my brain. Charlie Parker – the classic example of genius that burned out bright and fast. You didn't ask for it – but favorite piece of music: Beethoven's Symphony No. 9, particularly the fourth, choral movement. "Freude, nicht diese töne…" I have a recording with Placido Domingo as the tenor soloist and the Vienna Philharmonic conducted by Karl Böhm that can reduce a grown man to tears.

ITHS:What are your favorite foods and drinks? By the way, your margarita recipe is fab-u-lous!
RN: I love well-prepared food, in general. Sushi, a simmering hot pot of pork and mushrooms, a well-aged and seared steak, barbecue so tender and smoky it's love on a plate, a tartare of salmon with lemon crème fraiche and a dollop of osetra caviar… I can appreciate them all. I'm a coffee fiend – Ethiopian Yirgacheffe, Harrar, Costa Rican Tarazzu, Guatamalan Huehuetenango, Indian monsooned Malabar – I can make a damned good espresso, Americano, espresso, macchiato, or latte. I like a good beer, full-bodied red wines, and the classic cocktails: gin and tonic with lime, the dry martini, the "perfect" Manhattan, a good spicy Bloody Mary.

ITHS: What is you favorite word and what is your least favorite word?
RN: Favorite: Latakia (lah-tah-KEE-ah), a fragrant middle-eastern tobacco that's cured in the smoke of smoldering herbs. I just like the way it rolls off the tongue. In a pipe, it smells like church incense. Least favorite: moist. First, say it enough and it sounds utterly ridiculous. "Moist, moist, moist…" Just repeating it makes you feel oogy.
ITHS: Moist, moist moist. Oh ick. You’re right, I do oogy.

ITHS: What is your favorite curse word?
RN: "Motherfucker" It's got several things going for it. First is the rhythmic appeal of the four-syllable obscenity. Plus, it combines the power of the Big F-Word with the taboo of incest and thus is unique in the pantheon of cursing. Finally, nothing quite conveys the pathos of the human condition like a plaintively stated "mo…ther…fucker."

ITHS: Besides me, what turns you on creatively, spiritually and emotionally?
RN: Creatively – a challenge, or any opportunity to learn something new. I'm a sucker for finding a problem and wading in. Spiritually – I'm not a very spiritual person in my opinion, but there are times when I am simply in awe of man's ability to create. What a piece of work is man! Emotionally – a job well done. For me, there's no greater personal high than the sense of accomplishment knowing that one has put forth one's best effort and achieved something worthwhile.

ITHS: What turns you off?
RN: Inflexibility. Zealotry. "That's the way we've always done it." "That's good enough – nobody will ever know." Complacency. Laziness.

ITHS: What sound or noise do you love and what sound or noise do you hate?
RN: I love the sounds of the woods. The first thing that strikes you is the quiet. Then the little sounds of nature creep in around the edges – wind in the trees, the movement of small animals in the underbrush, birds, the buzz of insects, the realization that when the rest of the world shuts up you can actually hear the leaves fall. Nothing, absolutely nothing, sets my teeth on edge more than the high-pitched shrieks pre-toddlers emit at seemingly random intervals. Call me a curmudgeon, but I don't find the sound cheerful or joyous, just ear-piercingly shrill and annoying.

ITHS: They are making a movie about your life and you get to pick who plays you. Who do you cast in the role and why?
RN: Ed Harris. Not because I pretend to share his rugged machismo. Observing his roles as Gene Krantz in "Apollo 13" and as Jackson Pollack, he's one of the few actors who can convincingly portray the combination of intelligence backed by resolute intensity that I think is a big part of my personality.

ITHS: And finally, Rob. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear (insert deity of choice here) say when you arrive?
RN: "You want to check out how all this stuff works?"

ITHS: Rob, thanks for being my guest and spending time ‘in the hot seat’. It was a pleasure.
RN: You’re welcome and thank you.
ITHS: Oh no Rob… thank you.
(raucous applause)

Be sure to visit Rob at his web site at Strange Geometrical Hinges for photography, food and geeky fun. He does have THE BEST margarita recipe.

*SLJ = Shitty little job