I was surfing around and checking blogs that I hadn't visited in a while and I ran across this list of bumper stickers over at Nedra's site... so I lifted it. Here's some Saturday humor for you.
(Front Bumper) "If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough."
Note: I've seen that one at least twice in the last month!
I need this one for my car, "...Don’t Piss Me Off! I’m Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies."
And here's a touch of photographic humor, "...Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don’t Have Film."
Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You’re Still An Asshole
100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
A Mouse Is An Elephant Built By The Japanese
Adults are just kids with money.
Can't Feed 'Em! Don't Breed Em'!
Condoms are easier to change than diapers!
Conserve water - Shower with a friend
D.A.M.M.- Drunks Against Mad Mothers
DANGER: I drive like you do!
Did you just fart or did you always smell that way?
Don’t Drink And Drive...You Might Hit A Bump And Spill Your Drink.
Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe
Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don’t Have Film.
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
Honk if you love boy bands - then drive into a tree.
Honk If You Want To See My Finger
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I would slap you but shit splatters.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!
I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand
Men are proof that women have a sense of humor.
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the answers to the test.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
So you're a feminist - isn't that cute!
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
Those Who Live By The Sword Get Shot By Those Who Don’t
You Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot
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Geek bumperstickers:
"There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those that can count in binary, and those who can't"
"There's no place like 127.0.0.1"
"I read your e-mail"
"I'm a necrophiliac and I wish you were dead."
Makes a great pickup line in a bar, too.
Posted by: Clark on June 27, 2004 10:23 AM"My kid beat up your honor student"
"My dog is smarter than your honor student"
The one I'm looking for but can't find anywhere - "Christian - not closed minded."
Posted by: Lynn on June 27, 2004 01:26 PMMy bumper currently displays the curious and yet completely true combination of "I'm proud of my Eagle Scout" and "I (heart) being gay".
I'm on the lookout for a US Naval Academy "I (heart) my Mid" bumper sticker, but I think they only give those out to actual family members of midshipmen.
One of my favorites is "God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the Andes, and I had to eat Him". The implications are, well maybe not staggering, but there's more going on than just the gag.
Posted by: Thomas Atkinson on June 28, 2004 05:49 AMDon't like my driving - Dial 1 800 EAT SHIT
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the footpath (sidewalk)
Drive it like you stole it
.. Oh, there are just so many
Posted by: Stu on June 28, 2004 07:14 AM