100 Things About Me

1. I was born in 1965 at Church Home Hospital in east Baltimore, MD. The hospital no longer exists.
2. I am a Capricorn. Uhh, Capricorn, eh? What are they like? Ooh, but... he is the son of God, our Messiah. King of the Jews! And that's Capricorn, is it? Uh, no, no, no. That's just him. Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.'

3. I love to quote movies in character voices.
4. I survived eleven years of Catholic schooling…
5. And despite it all I am still a Christian…
6. Although now I am a practicing Lutheran. I call Lutheranism “Catholic Lite”. All of the religion but 1/3rd the guilt.
7. My father got me hooked on Star Trek and Japanese monster movies when I was very young.
8. He also got me hooked on the fine and performing arts.
9. I love Scifi and Fantasy and the Lord of the Rings is tops! Both the books and the movies.
10. I met Jenne at the annual Shore Leave Star Trek Convention in July of 1989.
11. I was wearing a Next Generation uniform and she asked me to dance.
12. I knew by the third song that I would marry her. We kissed at midnight on the dance floor at the Ten Forward dance party.
13. I look like actor John Delancie who played Q in ST:TNG. I stopped counting how many times I was told I looked like Q when the number got to around 500.
14. I love comic books and my favorite superhero is Batman. My dear friend and 'brother', Michael and I met in 1980 at a book store in Westminster, MD while looking at comics.
15. I have a huge collection of Star Wars memorabilia that I collected from the time I was twelve years old until right after Episode One came out. That pretty much ruined Star Wars for me and from that point I knew that George Lucas had turned into a freak.
16. Some people think I am a freak and I am okay with that. In fact I revel in it.
17. Just how freaky am I? When I was a child I believed that I was from another planet. I kept watching the skies hoping my people were coming back to get me.
18. I still believe number 17 to be true and I can sometimes still be found watching the skies… and hoping.
19. I was written up in the Carroll Times newspaper in the early 1980’s because of my big Star Wars collection. They titled the article, “STAR BOY.” To this day some friends, mostly Michael, still call me that on occasion.
20. My close friends call me Willie B. I think of it as my DJ name if I was a DJ.
21. I am not now, nor have I ever been a DJ.
22. Some members of my extended family still call me Willie from my childhood.
23. I grew up in east Baltimore near the Northeast Market and John’s Hopkins hospital.
24. I would spend lots of money on penny candy at the market.
25. At the market I found the cases with pig’s heads, feat, cow tongues and other parts disturbing.
26. But not enough that I don’t like bacon, ham and pork. I am told those products come from the same wonderful, magical animal.
27. I am constantly making Simpson’s references. If you don’t quite understand what I am talking about at any point it’s safe to assume it’s a Simpson’s reference. Number twenty six contains a Simpson’s reference, which is why I bring this up in number twenty-seven.
28. My favorite TV show is The Simpsons (I think that one is obvious), followed by Buffy and Futurama.
29. My favorite Simpson characters are Homer, Mr. Burns and sometimes Lisa.
30. Like Homer I enjoy beers. Unlike Homer I only enjoy good beer. Budweiser, Coors and similar brews are not good beers. They are cheap American swill and I will not drink them.
31. I have been offered Budweiser in cans and I accept it out of respect and fellowship for the person offering, however I never drink it. I fake it.
31-A. Okay, I have drank Bud. I drank Bud with Lt. Dan. I just can't fake it with him.
32. I have faked orgasms. Yes folks it can be done when you wear a condom. I was in my late teens and the sex was so boring that I just wanted it over with. I acted like I was having an orgasm, took the condom off and flushed it quick.
33. I did cuddle for a little while afterwards and make her feel appreciated. I like cuddling.
34. I also like mint flavors and I think that chocolate is a food of the gods. The two together are a confection of Satan himself and shall not be eaten.
35. My favorite cereal is Lucky Charms and I can eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
36. I can eat an entire box in one sitting while watching Anime.
37. I like to drink the sugary milk left in the cereal bowl.
38. I like my coffee sweet and to be mixed with a third of French Vanilla cream
39. I do not care for melons of any kind.
40. I hate shredded coconut. To me it’s like chewing thick pieces of hair or tough grass.
41. I love sushi and Sapporo Beer and Saki
42. I got really drunk on Saki once at a restaurant on a Valentines Day date with Jenne. I may have embarrassed her a little by looking under the table to see if she was or was not wearing panties under her dress.
43. When I get drunk I get very silly, very flirtatious and very affectionate
44. I also get a little loud.
45. I also like to drink Zombies and Margaritas (non-frozen).
46. I think that frozen Margaritas are the diarrhea of Satan.
47. I think Jimmy Buffet is a no talent ass-clown that made a career off of one song that has a horrible margarita recipe.
48. I love saying ass-clown and ass-hat.
49. I got really sick on homemade Margarita’s while watching a Bruce Lee movie last summer with friend Ted.
50. I can still drink Tequila though.
51. I am not a big sports fan. Never have been, but I do like Baltimore Raven’s football, although I couldn’t tell you who all is on the team.
52. I have been to a few games, but I spend most of my time looking at the cheerleaders through binoculars. I only look up at the game when the crowd gets loud.
53. I have written on a bathroom wall in a stadium. But it was a literary quote edited to include rhyming profanity. I don’t remember what it was, but I used good handwriting and a permanent bold tip marker.
54. I like to write stories about my life and short fiction with scifi, fantasy, horror and sexual themes.
55. I like reading books with the same themes and I do not look at Playboy for the articles. I am all about the photos baby, YEAH!
56. I have read a lot, but I do not think that I am well read.
57. I have a great memory for many things. Mostly useless trivia, movie quotes and Simpson’s references.
58. I think it’s because my brain is too big for my head. It really is. I have a condition know as an Arnold Chiari Malformation Level 1 or ACM-1.
59. I love that people like to read my blog and look at my photos. It makes me happy.
60. Photography was not my first artistic love. It was drawing and painting, but when I took an elective photography course in college I fell in love with the medium and put my pens, pencils and brushes away.
61. I sometimes regret that I didn’t keep up with the graphics arts.
62. My family does not know about my web site. I have mentioned it in their presence, but they don’t seem to care. They also do not have much interest in my photography. It is too artsy for them.
63. My father only ever cared that I not date a Black girl. When I was sixteen he said to me, “boy if I ever find out you are dating a black girl your name will be Stumpy because I’ll cut your fucking dick right off.”
64. He was fine with the idea of me dating, as he put it, “a Chink or a Jap or a Gook.”
65. My father also accused me of being gay because of my deep passion for the creative and performing arts. He said I was dating girls as a cover up.
66. I was sexually active when I was fifteen with my first girlfriend. She was a twenty-one year old college junior at UMBC. Her name was Valerie.
67. Sexually I taught her more than she taught me because I watched my father’s entire collection of porno movies repeatedly. Remeber, I am a geek and a freak and where jocks think about nothing but sports, we think about nothing but sex and The Simpsons.
68. My father would punish me for watching them and he would constantly move their hiding place. I always found the new hiding place within a week.
69. I am persistent and thorough.
70. We lived in a city row homes when I was in my pre-teens. There’s not many places to hide a huge porno collection in a row home.
71. I remember the day my father told my gay friend Thomas that he could be fixed with hormone shots. Thomas and I laughed right in my dad’s face. That did not go over very well.
72. A positive consequence of my father’s racism is that I am not a racist.
73. I have never dated a Black woman, but it wasn’t because of my father. It was because the opportunity never presented itself.
74. Another positive consequence of my father’s behavior is that I am not a homophobe. I am bisexual, gay, lesbian and transgendered friendly.
75. I have also never dated a guy even though the opportunity has presented itself.
76. In 1993 I was offered a job working for a phone sex line for men because I have a really nice voice. They offered me a private office with the following amenities; private phone line, TV/VCR combo and porno films, and lots of high quality paper towels. They also told me I could work from home if I wanted.
77. I was tempted to take the job, but the money wasn’t enough. I mean if they charge $3.95 a minute they sure as hell could have paid me more than $6.00 an hour!
78. I spend too much time thinking about my relationship with my father and how it has affected my life and who I am. Fortunately I turned most of it into positives for my life.
79. I have been in therapy, but not directly because of my family. Most people that meet my family don’t believe it possible that I was raised by them.
80. This has led to my having another nickname, Changeling.
81. Numbers seventy-eight and seventy-nine serve to support my belief stated in number 17.
82. I have been in therapy and treatment because I do suffer from depression.
83. It was really hard to admit to number eighty-two.
84. I had a hard time dealing with past depressive episodes because I saw depression as a sign of weakness and personal failure. I don’t believe that anymore and when I feel a depressive episode coming on I seek help.
85. I do believe in UFOs, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trans-mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis.
86. I believe that marijuana should be legalized.
87. I do not believe that the death penalty solves anything or is a deterrent to crime. It should be abolished.
88. I do believe that George Bush must not be President for another term. It will be the end of the world as we know it. He is an evil twisted freak. he is the ultimate political ass-clown and a militant ass-hat supreme.
89. In the 1980’s I was a Republican and in the 1990’s I was a Democrat.
90. Now I am an independent. I am disenfranchised with both major political parties, and Jenne thinks I am a Marxist.
91. I love the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges and Austin Powers.
92. I like to wear costumes and uniforms and being the center of attention.
93. I was a Union Civil War re-enactor for about seven years in the 1990’s.
94. Now instead of reenacting I volunteer at Antietam National Battlefield and I love it.
95. I love working with people, as I am very social.
96. I surround myself with quality people and I value, cherish and love them all.
97. I am a cat person more than I am a dog person.
98. Musically I like just about everything except Opera and Country.
99. I have very strong views and opinions. You’re thinking, “NO SHIT, ya think so Will? Ya think so?”
100. I spent far too much time organizing and editing this list so it would have a logical flow. Even if that flow only makes logical sense to me.
100-A. I am not much for following a lot of rules. I generally do not color inside the lines.