This is a follow-up to THE TAILGATER NIGHTMARE
So yesterday morning I talked with the office manager (AKA Ass-hat number one) and driver manager (AKA Ass-hat number two) of Copy Service, Inc. about their Ass-clown driver (AKA Ass-clown). Ass-clown was in the room with them, but was silent the whole time. Seems they not only got my two messages, but a message from Howard County Police as well. They put me on speaker phone and here’s pretty much what I told them.
“That driver is not only an aggressive and dangerous driver, but he is also a horrible company representative. He endangered my life with his reckless behavior and the lives of others! He should not be driving a vehicle! He aggressively followed me from I-495 in Silver Spring, Maryland to within a quarter mile of the Howard County Police HQ in Ellicott City. That’s over twenty miles!”
“Sir,” manager ass-hat cut in. “Our driver lives in that area and he was likely just driving home at that time.”
“There is no way that he was “JUST DRIVING HOME!” He was aggressively following me. When I changed lanes he changed lanes to stay right behind me! When I was able to change lanes and slow down he would slow down and then cut off other drivers just to get in behind me again!”
“I see sir.”
“Don’t patronize me,” I spat back.
“We are just trying to get both sides of the story. We need to look at all angles,” he said in the typical tone of upper management. It sounded like he was reading off of queue cards.
“The story is your driver was being aggressive towards me and endangering my life. If there was something that I had done wrong to put him in this mood he should have followed me right to the police station and made his case. BUT NOOOO! Less than a quarter mile from the station he flees and speeds out of the area. Is that the actions of an innocent person?”
“We see your point. What would you like us to do,” ass-hat manager number two interjects.
“FIRE HIM! He is a dangerous driver and should not be allowed to endanger lives with his aggressive driving.”
“This is the first complaint we have had against this driver. We’re not going to fire him because of this,” number two says rather matter of factly.
“That’s probably because no one else has had the courage to report this bully of yours. Most people fear reprisals from bullys. If he had a bad day he shouldn’t be taking it out on innocent people on the highway! Maybe he was drinking. Do you screen your drivers?”
“Yes we do. Mr. Burnham, what would you like us to do?” number one asks.
“I already told you, but since you aren’t likely to do that – in fact I doubt you’ll really do anything, but anyway – I want him suspended without pay and then sent to anger management classes. And you can send him to a safe driving course sponsored by the police and before he is allowed to drive again he has to pass those classes.” What I'd really like to do with Ass-Clown is test some quality Japanese steel on his fucking head ala Kill Bill. That movie was a beauty flick. Did you see it? Beauty.
“Those are things we can consider,” replies number two.
“I did file a report with the police. I gave them a full description of the driver, vehicle, tag and the event.”
“We did get a message from Howard County Police. We will be talking with them later this morning. We are taking this seriously,” said number one.
“We have to take all complaints of this nature seriously and investigate them fully,” chimed in number two. “We are investigating this fully and we will be talking with the officer who took your report. We will then decide what action is appropriate to take.”
“The officer said he would be following up with me as well,” I said.
“Mr. Burnham, we apologize for this and be assured we will take appropriate action,” number one again.
“I hope you take the right action before he injures or kills someone who’s just trying to get home from work.” There was a long moment of pregnant silence.
“Is there anything else you’d like to add Mr. Burnham?”
“You guys sure know how to pick great company representatives. Tell your driver that the next time he wants to get aggressive towards someone he shouldn’t do it in a company vehicle. HE SHOULDN’T DO IT ALL!”
“You’re right Mr. Burnham. Again our apologies. Good day.”
“Good bye,” and I hang up.
I’ll never have the satisfaction of knowing what actions were taken… if any and that just sucks.
Good for you standing up to these turds, and speaking so plainly!
Posted by: Lynn on May 26, 2004 07:22 PMOoops. I think, as a Quaker, I meant to say "Speak truth to power!" But, in total honesty,I might have meant the first thing.
Posted by: Lynn on May 26, 2004 07:24 PMWill- For once, I am speechless. Go to Wal Mart and buy yourself a Sheriff Buford T. Pusser Walking Tall style baseball bat for the trip. If "Assfuck" shows up in the parking lot, I'll be your wing man.
Posted by: Lt. Dan on May 26, 2004 10:00 PMso Will, maybe you should consider taking the train to work??...speaking of trains, it sounds like the stress and angst of your new commute is right up there with the stress and angst of that toy train company you used to work for......ducking
Posted by: rockinronnie on May 27, 2004 12:20 AMWill, we are having a lot of thunder and lightning here lately and with your recent luck, I must respectfully ask that you not stand too close to me at this time.
Glad you liked the SUV link. If it made you smile, then it's been worth copying from computer to computer over the years.
Totally off topic: I want to see Lt. Dan in the HOTSPOT. One of the questions has to be why such an ultra right winger reads your commie blog...
And damn it, you've got me saying peace to everyone. Next thing you know I'll be re-registering as a Democrat. What? I did that yesterday? I'm such a wuss.
Posted by: juli on May 27, 2004 02:13 AMJuli, You must be reading my mind, as Lt. Dan IS going to be the next guest in the HOTSPOT!! Since you're reading minds did you also know that my wife says I'm a Marxist? I just love Groucho, but my favorite is Harpo. Well I have to run and get breakfast. I think I'll have a damn fine cup of coffee and some Animal Crackers or a bowl of The Cocoanuts cereal. Or maybe the leftover Duck Soup. I wonder, can I get Room Service? Hmm, oh well it's time to Go West and see what kinds of Monkey Business I can get into today. Maybe another rant about The Big Store... Walmart, or I could play hookie and spend A Day At The Races or At The Circus! Catch ya latter.
Love Happy and Peace, --Will
PS Lynn, huh huh huh You said TURD huh huh huh. Turd.
Posted by: Will Burnham on May 27, 2004 07:35 AM1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.
5th RULE: One fight at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.
Now bear with me.. you might not like what i am going to say, but well lets get on with it.
1. you are driving one of the worst commuting roots there is
495 circle of death
95 70mph in the slow lane
route 100 speed limit 100!!!
2. you just had a tramatic accident, you now have a nice brand new car You are suffering from post tramitic streess syndrome In other words you are wired to the max.
3. This ass klown in the truck was a bad driver, no doubt, but I do not think he was after you. Rather he was just driving like all the other rush hour idiots.
4. When you were speeding up you were opening up a hole for him. Since unfortunatley he was on to the same destination as you it certainly seemed like he was after you. And I can see how it might have looked like that.
5. If you ever think somebody is truly after you, and you know, since you have a new car, ass-klown attractant colonge, etc. there is nuts out there to car jack you, rape you or what ever. But just take the first exit and then get right back on the highway . If they follow you, call 911 and tell them you fear for your life, explain how the whacko ass clown got off the road with you and then back on. Dont let them chase you, stop in the middle of the road (safely of course), get off the highway and get to a very public place, park on the sidewalk at the entrance to a mall, attract attention. This assumes that 911 is still on the line and the nut is still following you.
6. If 5 doesnt apply then you just had a regular bad driver (probably in an suv) tailgating you.
7. My suggestion is your commute route is the most direct route to and from work but travels through HELL. Try going west, up 15 and through the country back to home. 70 going east to 29 is fairly relaxed. There is a lot of nice back roads throgh that area. When I was driving a lot in washington, gaithersburg and no va i developed many alternative back routes. maybe it takes 20 minutes more, but it can be relaxing.
7a. even if you go 495 to 95 then use 198 to to west to 29 and north 29 from 198 to 70 is not bad. Or 198 east to Route 1
8. the nuts on 95,495, 100 are only getting worse.
9. Even in my h2, i avoid these roads, and yes i get cars that tailgate me and disappear in my rear view mirror.
Please be carefull, you got a nice job, nice new car, you need to find a more relaxing way to commute.
H2
Posted by: your h2 cousin on May 27, 2004 09:23 AMWill- Have I become an ultra right winger and let my Clinton brothers in the dust???
Posted by: Lt. Dan on May 27, 2004 09:55 AMI have gone so far right that I am comming back around the other side. Will, if its not the Irish then you can be almost sure that it is the fault of the French. Were they not the ones that invented the copy machine... Think about it!
Posted by: Dave on May 27, 2004 10:20 AMI also now believe that the Irish have been "setup" for a fall by the new Euro-French conspiracy!!! Just think about it,"French" Fries, "French" Toast, "French" Bread!!! Next it will be "French" Wal-Mart!!! Lt Dan and MM, you surely both back me on this issue! Groundskeeper Wille summed it up best, "The French are cheese eating surrender monkeys"!!
Posted by: Dave on May 27, 2004 10:38 AMhello will my american the fiend,
In the name of all that is the great what are these the cheese eating monkey that Dave wrote about
"The French are cheese eating surrender monkeys"!!"
is this the plague that habid is to watch for is much the monkey to eat the cheese habid to go into the country and take much the cheese. is the monkey to eat toe cheese, does the monkey eat the camel toe cheese.
habid is much to be worried is about
habid
ps do these the monkey that eat the cheese , cut the cheese
Well, Dave, you certainly couldn't have Irish Fries, now could you. The Irish ran out of potatoes many years ago. Remember the famine?
Posted by: GerenM on May 27, 2004 10:50 AMPerhaps the safest and most enjoyable route from work is actually at home via the dirt road, or the Hershey Highway. I understand, many have traveled safely. I doubt anyone will be tailgaiting that action, unless it is DP!!!
to the lt Dan
what is this the hershey highway. habid likes much the fudge. is it in the america that the road is made of the fudge. habid to know if the fudge is packed , if to be is so, then habid want much to know if job for fudge packer is the job better than the wall mart ass klown?
please also to tell habid mr dan lt what is this DP?
habid so loong is for now.
Posted by: habid el sharif on May 27, 2004 07:19 PM